HI!! Welcome to Brilliance in a Teacup!! (No, I don't know what the name means either. It just sounded cool...) This will be my blog about life in general. Yay.
Today I ran 5K. It just about killed me -- I still haven't recovered. It was really warm outside and everything. An old fat guy beat me. It was humiliating...and a no-win situation. See, I have asthma or something...and it was either: 1) Walk and hate myself, 2) Run and probably kill myself, or 3) Quit and have Dad kill me. I chose no. 2 because it was only "probably". And I didn't. I probably shouldn't have run though.
And, just for the fun of it, I'll put a random essay I wrote a while ago on here, to prove that there really is
brilliance in this teacup.
I'm going to start by making a simple statement: girls want to be princesses
. Oh, we don't want it consciously. We don't want to be in charge of a kingdom or anything. We just want to be princesses. I mean, have you ever known a little girl who hasn't, at least once, played "princess dress-up"? Every girl, somewhere in the depths of her heart, wants to be a princess
. And we will probably fall for the boy who acts as if he would love to be our prince. How do you do that? Well...that is the question, isn't it? You give her what she really wants (to a degree, of course). What does she want? (Besides to be a princess, of course.) A GIRL WANTS TO BE TREATED LIKE A PRINCESS.
It makes sense, doesn't it? If a girl wants to be
a princess, she's going to want to be treated
like one. Logically follows. Now the question is how to do this. Well, it's really not that hard. Just look around for what you can do for her. If she looks like she could definitely use an extra arm, help her out. Let her know that she is important to you. Treat her like you would a real princess. She is
one to God, so why not to you as well?
Only -- you'll see the following phrase a lot -- don't overdo it
. She doesn't want to be a GODDESS (or at least she shouldn't. If she does, well...she's probably not worth it). Don't WORSHIP her. She's not every
guy's princess. She's your
princess. And you are her
prince. Treat her like you know this. And if you go around trying to help her with everything, she's either going to utterly rebel or be utterly spoiled.
Chicas -- One of you ladies is probably out there going "What the heck? I don't wanna be treated like a princess!! I am a WOMAN!! I am TOUGH!! I am STRONG!!" I have two words to say to you: Yeah, right
. If you're ever treated like this, let me assure you -- it will completely melt your heart. Just you wait. And if you tell me that you've never played princess dress-up, then you're probably lying. If you're not, then you had a deprived childhood. A GIRL WANTS TO BE PURSUED.
This has a lot to do with treating her like a princess. You have to let her know
that you like her. Girls tend to be either clueless (like me) or uber-surmising (the girls who think that every guy likes her). The clueless ones really need a big hint. The uber-surmising ones get disappointed so many times that even as they surmise they're skeptical. So you let them know. Recently, I was forced to explain a note in which I had told a guy to tell me if he ever liked me. (I stated it rather cryptically, so it needed explaining.) I fully expected him to come back and say "No, I don't like you." He didn't. He gave me the opposite answer. And I had been utterly and completely clueless about it. And I would have remained so, if he hadn't said something. The uber-surmising ones are going to need reassuring that their surmising is correct.
But that's not all that pursuing is. Pursuing is making sure she knows
that she's important to you. Give her random little gifts. Write her random notes. Tell her that you love spending time with her (that will go a really long way with some girls). Pursuing is not walking up to a girl and "hitting on her". It is a delicate, relentless, continuous, tender chase
. It's not a one-time thing. It's the entire way you relate to her, always, all the time. You treat her like she's priceless, precious, irreplacable, amazing. You dash across the room to pick up her schoolbooks before someone else gets to it. You seek out her company over the company of your guy friends. (That really
goes a long
way.) When she forgets her lunch money, you give her your lunch. And remember, you have to tell
her that you like her. Remeber, I said that a pursuit is a chase
. You have to let her know that you're really serious about this.
Again, though, don't overdo it.
A girl wants and loves to be pursued...but don't call her at like 11:30 PM and expect her to be happy about it. And don't pursue her for the wrong reason. (Wrong reasons: sex, outward appearance, etc.) Pursue her because she is who God made her.
Pursue her for who she is inside
. (A side note here, since this is where it seems to fit -- don't expect her to be perfect, please? She's only human (unless you're dating an alien, which doesn't seem likely). She's probably under a lot of pressure from her parents to do stuff just so
and perfectly, and if you start doing that...it won't be a good thing.)
Chicas -- Being pursued is wonderful. It's the most amazing
feeling you can ever have. It's a feeling that's pretty much unparalleled. Look, if you're being pursued in the way I just told the guys to pursue you ladies, you are going to fall for him
(probably). So be forewarned. Chances are, he's a good guy if he's that sweet. And if you don't like the guy who's pursuing you, don't laugh at him
. Guys hate being ridiculed -- they're amazingly touchy creatures. So there's your warning. (And yes
, you contrary-minded ladies out there, you want to be pursued. You're just being difficult.) GIRLS WANT TO BE PROTECTED.
The prince is always rescuing the princess, right? From dragons, and ogres, and giants, and evil stepmothers, and all sorts of other things? So you should protect your princess! You should protect her from stuff that you're afraid of. I, for example, have a great fear of wasps and thunderstorms. (I know, I'm strange.) And there was a wasp one day in the cafeteria. I happened to mention that I was afraid of wasps. A couple minutes later, one of the guys I was sitting with quietly got up, took his lanyard, and started to stalk the wasp. And while the Wasp-Stalker is not my Prince, I did
like him for a long time. I also see no prospect of falling in love with one of the other guys at the table, who was trying really hard to convince me that the wasp was on top of my head. Also, my Prince agrees with me about thunderstorms, which doesn't really do anything to protect me but sure makes me feel a whole lot better. So, sympathize with her fears. Don't laugh at them. Do something about them if you can.
Also, protect her from abuse, both verbal and physical. If someone's teasing or tormenting her, stand up for her. (This goes a long way with a lot of girls.) If you know that her parents beat her or abuse her in other ways, get outside help. If someone insults her, defend her. Protect her.
I told you that you'd be hearing this a lot. Don't overdo it.
You can't protect her from herself, and it won't help any if you try. Some things she's going to have to learn the hard way. If you see her going down a path that's potentially deadly (drugs, alchohol, smoking, etc.) I would say to interfere but don't chain her. Try to talk her out of it, but if she won't see reason, you're going to have to let her go.
Chicas -- Let your man know when he is being overprotective, but let him protect you. It makes him feel really good to protect someone. And I know someone out there is saying, "HEY!! I am WOMAN! I am STRONG! I don't need protection
!" Oh, but you do. You need protection. Someday there will be a time when you need to be protected, and you will wish you had let your Prince protect you. So beware. And hey, being protected is wonderful
. Nothing is more alluring and heartwarming than having someone fight for you. Hey, I'm still high from the time one of my friends chewed out one of my other friends because he wasn't treating me right. It's wonderful. A GIRL WANTS TO BE INCLUDED.
OK, guys. Imagine this. You're going with your girl and her group to the mall or something. You're the only guy. The entire time, all they talk about is makeup, PMS, and hot actors. How would feel? Out of your league? A little left out?
Unfortunately, girls get this same treatment all the time. As the only girl in my particular group, I oftentimes get immensely left out of conversations about X-BOX, videogames, and paintball. And while I have learned a lot about these topics, I would much prefer talking about something that I actually know
about. Hey, girls can talk about some pretty strange stuff! I can discuss Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, the Matrix (the first one) and the outside of the universe relatively fluently. So find out what she can talk about, and talk about it! Books and movies are pretty much inexhaustable resources, there are so many of them. And if she doesn't do books and movies, there's music, drawing, and a lot of other things.
Also -- and this is just a general thing, to be used on girls that you don't LIKE-like as well as your princess -- invite the girl that hangs out with your group to stuff, please? I mean, I hang out with a group of guys. I never get invited to their houses (except one's, and then only when he needs an extra for a videogame). I haven't been to a birthday party since fourth grade. (Honestly.) And let me tell you, it hurts
when you know that your best friend is having a party and you're not going to be invited just because you're a girl
. (And there are ways to get around the slumber party thing.) The highlight of my year was when my Prince invited me to a thing for his church. That was amazing.
Chicas -- you may or may not have this problem, but I'm pretty sure that all of us have been hurt because we "felt left out" at one point or other in our lives. If you say you haven't, you're either lucky or lying. And I know those that have felt left out will agree with me -- it hurts.
And last but definitely not least, A GIRL WANTS TO BE CAPTIVATING.
Every girl wants to be thought beautiful. No exception. And we love to be told so (unless we're trying to keep our egos down to a manageable size). So, if you think she's beautiful, tell her so. Read "The Steward and the King" chapter of the book The Return of the King
and find the speech where Faramir tells Eowyn that she's beautiful. Be like that when you tell your princess that she's beautiful. Be eloquent. Don't just mumble, "You're beautiful." Get her attention first and say it loudly and clearly. Or write her a note and tell her. I recieved a note like that from my Prince the other day. Let me tell you, I'm still amazingly happy from that note. So tell her that she's beautiful
. And if she's not beautiful, she'll probably grow on you.
Chicas -- Here's something that I know
we all agree on. We all want to be beautiful. And we all know that being told so will be wonderful. So no arguments allowed.
So, in conclusion, treat your girl like a princess, and you may just "get her". Good luck!